Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I will be naked everywhere
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
