dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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