wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
