u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
