Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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