My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
