So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
