My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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