you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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