he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
