i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
