absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
