Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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