I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
