nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
