That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
