You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
