We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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