I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Small penises have feelings too.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
