We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
