Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
