she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
