just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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