the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
