sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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