Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
