Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
