i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's like iHOP with fire
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
