You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
