I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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