you turned your livingroom into a bong?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
