dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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