Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
