Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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