i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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