and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
