I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
