Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
