FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
