...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
