i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
