Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
