I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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