I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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