I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I AM VODKA MAN
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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