Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
