sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
