Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize