Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
