Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
