I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
