How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
