in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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