omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
