he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
