I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
