Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
