Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
