I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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