i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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