i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
