Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
