Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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