i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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