i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
