just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
