Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
