did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
