I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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